How I’m Building a Startup in Public Without Burning Out or Selling My Soul

Sharing your startup journey online sounds great — until you’re knee-deep in burnout, performing for LinkedIn, and second-guessing every post. In this blog, I share how I’m building my self-dating app in public without losing my mind, chasing clout, or becoming a content machine.

🧠 Real Talk: Building in Public Is Not for the Faint of Heart

On paper, building in public sounds magical:✨ Authenticity.✨ Community.✨ Early traction.✨ Founder brand unlocked.

But behind the scenes? It can get real messy, real fast.

You start second-guessing every update.You feel pressure to always “have a win.”You start performing instead of just building.

And if you’re not careful, you go from “sharing the journey” to curating your identity.

Been there. Burned out from that. Now doing it differently.

😵‍💫 What Building in Public Used to Look Like (aka The Mistakes)

Before I found my rhythm, here’s what went sideways:

• Oversharing in real-time — posting my process before I emotionally processed it

• Posting just to post — chasing algorithm validation instead of genuine value

• Comparing my updates to other founders who were 10 steps ahead

• Letting engagement dictate my self-worth

• Burning out trying to be “consistent”

It all looked like connection on the outside.But inside? It was exhausting.

So I had to rebuild my whole approach — this time with boundaries, with intention, and without selling my soul.

🧘‍♂️ My New Framework: Building in Public Without Burning Out

I now treat building in public like a creative ritual, not a content calendar.Here’s my not-so-secret sauce:

1. 🗓 I Share Weekly, Not Daily — Rhythm Over Hype

I post 1–2 times a week. That’s it.Usually:

• One Build Log (what we did, learned, pivoted, felt)

• One Reflection (a deeper founder insight or emotional lesson)

I don’t try to be viral. I try to be valuable.

⚡ Quick tip: Use voice notes or Notion to capture ideas as they come — then edit down once a week.

2. 🔒 I Built an Internal “Do Not Share Yet” List

Just because something is happening doesn’t mean it’s ready to be shared.

I keep a private list of things I’m working through internally — ideas that need to marinate, lessons still unfolding, wounds still healing.

Once they’ve settled? Then I decide if I want to share — not because I should, but because it might actually help someone.

3. 🧠 I Check In With My Nervous System First

Before I hit “publish,” I ask:

• Is this post coming from a regulated place or a reactive one?

• Am I posting for connection or validation?

• Can I hold space for the replies and reactions this might bring?

If the answer’s shaky — I wait.

Building in public shouldn’t cost your peace.

4. 💬 I Focus on Story > Stats

The posts that land hardest? They’re not the ones with perfect metrics or revenue numbers — they’re the stories.

• The pivots that hurt

• The breakdowns before breakthroughs

• The “I almost quit” moments that feel too real

When I stopped trying to impress and just started telling the truth, I found my people.

5. 🧱 I Treat Boundaries as Strategy

Yup. Emotional boundaries = business strategy.

• I don’t reply to every comment

• I don’t build for content

• I don’t explain myself in DMs

• I don't chase clout collabs

Because the more I protect my energy, the more I can actually create. And that’s the point, right?

✍️ My Go-To “Build in Public” Content Stack

Here’s what I use to keep it light, lean, and not overwhelming:

• 🧠 Notion – running doc of “what I’m learning”

• 🎙️ Otter / Voice Memos – for stream-of-consciousness ideas

• 🖼 Figma – for clean visual updates

• 📬 Beehiiv / Substack – to go deeper via email (low-pressure channel)

• 🧵 X/Twitter + LinkedIn – to engage publicly, but not addictively

💡 The Big Realization: Your Story Is the Strategy

When you build in public from a grounded, honest place — the brand, the traction, the community… it all comes naturally.

Not because you’re performing.But because people can feel the truth.

They want to follow you not for the wins, but for the way you walk through the losses. The pivots. The pauses. The humanity.

💬 FAQ

Q: How often should I post while building in public?Start with once a week. Choose rhythm over randomness. Think quality over clout.

Q: What if I don’t have anything “big” to share?That is the share. “Here’s what a quiet, messy, uncertain week looked like” is incredibly relatable — and more powerful than another growth chart.

Q: Should I share the personal stuff too?If it feels safe and useful — yes. If it’s still raw — wait. If it’s just to get attention — pause.