Why I Designed Our App to Be Quiet — Not Addictive

The Bottom Line: In a world where technology companies profit from stealing attention, apps designed for healing and mental wellness must take a radically different approach—one that honors human well-being over engagement metrics.

The Noisy Reality of Digital Life

Let's call it what it is: Tech has gotten noisy.

• Push notifications screaming for you: The average smartphone user checks their device over 70 times per day and swipes and interacts with it thousands of times

• Dopamine loops disguised as "engagement": When users receive positive feedback on social media or view novel content, their brain releases dopamine, leading them to stay on the platform for extended periods of time and come back to it repeatedly

• Bright colors, flashing badges, buzz buzz buzz: All engineered to capture and monetize your attention

It's not just annoying—it's exhausting. Even apps built for "wellness" end up shouting at you to check in, log more, stay longer. 97% (38/39) of digital well-being apps do not specify if they are backed up by research, yet they deploy the same attention-hijacking techniques as social media platforms.

But what if an app didn't want to win your attention? What if it just wanted to honor your presence?

That's what we're building.

🧠 The Problem With Addictive UX: When Mental Health Apps Become Mental Health Hazards

Most UX design is optimized for one thing: retention at all costs.

The so-called attention economy has come to dominate the provision of many web-based services. As such, success and profitability often relies on maximizing user engagement. Teams obsess over:

• Time spent in-app

• Session streaks

• Re-engagement metrics

• Daily Active Users (DAUs)

• Push notification click-through rates

The Research Shows the Damage

The science is clear on what this does to human well-being:

Mental Health Impact: Social media addiction has been linked to negative mental health outcomes such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Social media addiction is a global issue that appears to be widespread among young people as well as adults.

Attention Erosion: The mere presence of a smartphone has been reported to adversely affect working memory and functional fluid intelligence. Recent studies have shown that young people spend an average of 5.5 h per day connected to social media—almost a third of their waking hours.

Manipulative Design: Social media companies commonly design their platforms in a way that renders them addictive, using three primary mechanisms:

1. Intermittent variable rewards (the slot machine effect)

2. Social validation loops that exploit our need for approval

3. Eroded stopping cues that make it hard to disengage

But here's the thing: What's good for metrics isn't always good for mental health.

When you're building something to help people heal, reconnect, or reflect—addictive design isn't a feature. It's friction.

🧘‍♀️ Our Philosophy: Quiet Apps for Loud Minds

Our users aren't looking for another digital high. They're looking for peace. Reflection. A moment to reconnect with themselves.

Research supports this approach: Humane design prioritizes users' well-being and dignity above profit. It goes beyond fulfilling their immediate needs and asks, "What are the long-term implications of technology on the users' mental and emotional health?"

So we designed our app to feel like a deep breath—not another dopamine loop.

What Quiet Design Looks Like

• No red badges (research shows red increases stress and urgency)

• No streaks (which create anxiety and guilt when broken)

• No pressure to "show up every day"

• Gentle colors, soft transitions, and no jarring alerts

• Language that invites stillness, not urgency

• Default notifications: OFF

This isn't about "low engagement." This is intentional emotional pacing.

As the Center for Humane Technology explains, Humane Tech prioritizes user well-being and mental health by fostering respectful and responsible design to prevent digital addiction and excessive screen time.

🧩 Quiet UX in Action: What That Actually Looks Like

Here's how quiet design shows up throughout our app:

1. The Onboarding Starts With a Pause

No fast sign-up. No bullet-point benefits. Just one gentle question:

"How are you feeling right now?"

And space to answer. That sets the tone—you're not here to hustle. You're here to be.

2. Zero-Stimulation Visual Design

We stripped out red indicators, hard shadows, and sharp contrasts. Following calm technology principles, we used:

• Soft neutrals that don't strain the eyes

• Subtle animations that feel natural, not attention-grabbing

• Spacious layout with intentional white space

• Muted feedback that informs without overwhelming

It doesn't pull your attention. It lets it rest.

3. Sound and Haptics Meant to Soothe, Not Spike

If there's a sound at all, it's soft and ambient—think wind chimes, not alarm bells. If there's haptic feedback, it's gentle—like a tap on the shoulder, not a jolt.

The term "calm technology" was coined by Mark Weiser and John Seely Brown back in 1996, advocating for technology that stays in the background until needed.

4. Push Notifications That Respect Your Energy

Our default is off. When enabled, reminders are designed more like journal prompts than nags.

Instead of: "Don't break your streak! Log your mood now! 🔥"

We write: "A moment to check in? No pressure—just presence."

5. Progress Without Pressure

We track growth differently:

• Patterns over points: Instead of streaks, we show gentle patterns in your emotional landscape

• Insights over achievements: "You've been practicing self-compassion more lately" vs. "15-day streak!"

• Reflection prompts over guilt trips: "What did you learn about yourself this week?" vs. "Get back on track!"

🌱 Why It Matters: Regulation Over Retention

We're not here to keep you "engaged." We're here to help you feel emotionally safe.

The Science of Safety-First Design

Usability Challenges for Health and Wellness Mobile Apps research shows that when someone is:

• Burnt out

• Heartbroken

• Overstimulated

• Anxious

• Dealing with trauma

...they don't need another app trying to "capture" them. They need a space that feels like coming home to themselves.

And quiet is the first language of safety.

Research from digital wellness studies confirms this: Digital wellness essentially prioritizes the level of self-control one can assert over their usage of digital devices and focuses on aligning them to achieve long-standing goals.

Breaking the Attention Economy Model

In this digital economy, trade is increasingly built around information rather than physical commodities. However, information isn't scarce; rather, the limiting factor is human attention.

Mental health apps have a responsibility to break this cycle. The attention-economy business model of social media companies strongly incentivizes them to perpetrate this wrongdoing. We choose a different path.

🔄 The Long Game: Trust Over Triggers

Will this reduce our daily active users? Maybe. But will it build trust, depth, and emotional resonance with the people who do use the app?

Absolutely.

What Success Looks Like

Instead of measuring:

• Daily Active Users

• Session duration

• Push notification opens

• Streak completion rates

We measure:

• User-reported well-being improvements

• Sustainable usage patterns (not compulsive ones)

• Quality of self-reflection in user journaling

• Reduced anxiety around app usage

• Long-term retention based on genuine value, not habit

When you focus solely on maximizing engagement for profit, you may see a spike in engagement. But in the long run, users feel overwhelmed and manipulated.

We're designing for people, not performance. For presence, not pressure. And in a world addicted to noise, quiet is a brand advantage.

💬 FAQ: Addressing the Hard Questions

Q: Don't people need reminders to build habits?

Sometimes, yes—but not at the cost of peace. Users reviews of two major digital wellbeing apps reveal acceptance and rejection factors, with overwhelming feedback showing that aggressive notifications create more stress than support.

We offer gentle nudges, never guilt trips. And we trust our users to come back when they need it—not when we want them to.

Q: Won't users forget to come back without notifications?

Possibly. But if someone forgets us, it's a sign they needed space—and we respect that. Studies have begun to investigate the predictors for using digital wellbeing applications, showing that sustainable engagement comes from genuine need, not artificial urgency.

Our job isn't to control behavior. It's to support healing.

Q: Is quiet UX scalable?

We believe it's sustainable. Which means the people who use it, stay—not out of habit, but because it feels good to return.

By adopting humane design principles, you create products that not only engage users but contribute to their overall well-being. In the long run, this benefits both users and businesses.

Q: How do you handle the business pressure to increase engagement?

We've aligned our business model with our values. Instead of selling user attention to advertisers, we use a transparent subscription model. Users pay for value, not to become the product.

This allows us to optimize for user well-being rather than engagement metrics.

🌀 The Bigger Picture: Design That Lets You Breathe

This isn't just about our app. It's about a movement toward technology that serves humanity, not the other way around.

The Call for Industry Change

The cumulative effect of digital products created today have unintended consequences around the world. As designers and technologists, we have a responsibility to ask: "What are the long-term implications of technology on the users' mental and emotional health?"

Principles for Quiet Design

Based on research from humane technology advocates and our own experience:

1. Respect attention as a finite resource

2. Default to off for all non-essential notifications

3. Use visual design that calms, not stimulates

4. Measure success by user well-being, not engagement

5. Build stopping cues into the experience

6. Make privacy and data protection transparent

7. Offer genuine value without requiring behavioral modification

Resources for Building Better

• Center for Humane Technology: Leading research and advocacy for ethical tech design

• Calm Technology Principles: Mark Weiser's foundational framework for unobtrusive design

• Design Guide for Humane Technology: Practical worksheet for assessing and improving product humanity

• Digital Wellness Research: Academic studies on technology's impact on mental health

💫 Final Thoughts: The Quiet Revolution

Your tech doesn't need to be the loudest in the room. It needs to be the most honest. The most human. The most attuned.

Sometimes that means whispering. Or pausing. Or saying nothing at all.

As technology rapidly becomes intertwined with more and more of our everyday actions, it's up to us to strive to make it better: less obtrusive, less addictive, and much more humane.

Because not all apps need to chase attention. Some are here to give it back to you.

The question isn't whether you can build technology that respects human dignity and well-being. The question is whether you will.